Don't blame the kids

First posted August 11 2007

Sometimes when I am doing some 1 to 1 coaching we reach an apparent fundamental blocker to the change that is desired. It goes a little like this:

..the thing is, the school fees do not allow me to start my own business...
..the key thing, though, is for me to provide security for my family...
...I want to ensure the children have great holidays....

Of course, all well and good. However your children do not want to hear later on in their lives how you didn't live some of your dreams 'because of the kids'. Children are remarkably resilient. They can cope, learn and thrive in a family where income is not guaranteed. They can do remarkably well, often, when their world is not perfect.

Learning is broader based than just school. True security is more than just the mortgage payments. Sure we have responsibilites and we must take those seriously....but equal we do not need to use our children as an excuse for avoiding tackling our own fears. Love our children, inspire our children. Ensure they have the basics. But then model the behaviours you would like to see in them: creativity, enthusiasm, passion. A life lived long, a life lived wide.

Don't blame the kids.