Nicholas Bate

Blast from the Past

A to Z of Great Parenting: first posted early March 2007

G is Goal

Encourage your children to have goals and help them plan to achieve them. Celebrate when they do and help them learn when they don't.

From saving for an expensive toy, to budgetting their first pocket-money allowance. From a revision schedule to an inter-rail trip. Being able to plan and achive goals is a high-level and vital skill. Be wary if your school steers away from this area as being 'elitist' or unfair on some children. If so, it is not preparing children for the competitive world of work. All children can have goals (not necessarily the same ones) and all can be successful in their own chosen area. The act of goal-setting helps this process tremendously.

And be a good role model yourself: set a few goals. And make them happen.

The A to Z of Great Parenting

Z is Zen and the Art of Success

"There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way."

Dalai Lama

Model that and your child will get it. You can probably give them no greater gift.

The A to Z of Great Parenting

Y is Yin and Yang

Success for your child will be the interaction of complementary forces. They'll need to fail to learn. They'll need to have some upsets to understand real friendship. It's important to love the journey on the way to the goal.

Coach them into that valuable learning.

The A to Z of Great Parenting

X is Multiply

How about if your son or daughter understood compound benefits? That if you take any of the A to Z so far and multiply them together you get amazing results. What about if you have an empowering belief (B) and give something massive attention (A) while managing your fear (F)? Yes, the results would be awesome....

The A to Z of Great Parenting

W is Who?

Who can help? Can a teacher offer more help? Ask! A relative? Ask! The library? Ask! Get really good at asking for help. It is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

Encourage your child NOT to lose their early curiosity and insatiable why?

The a to Z of Great Parenting

V is Vision

Have some fun one day. Get a huge sheet of paper and both of you: draw your visions: where do you want to be in a few years time? And share them. Help your child develop and clarify their vision.

Having one does not guarantee anything, but it does make it a whole lot more likely.

The A to Z of Great Parenting

U is Uncertainty

Nothing is certain, that's for sure. The sooner your son or daughter learns to manage that, the easier Life will become. Early expectations are that we have a 'right' to things; no we don't. Or that if we work hard we'll get the place at Uni we seek. No, not necessarily. If we get qualified, we'll have a 'job for Life'. Not-not at all, any longer. Life is hard, very hard at times. But it's so much easier when we accept that.

Help your child learn to work with uncertainty.

The A to Z of Great Parenting

T is Today

Today is a really good day to start working on this stuff. How could you help your child/ren with their dreams? Small or large: start today.

The A to Z of Great Parenting

S is Success

Help your child understand what success really is. Increasingly society will seduce them into believing it is money, fame and stuff. Ironically most who acquire those find they do not really help at all.

Help your son or daughter to realise true success is doing what they are passionate about. To achieve that they will have to put aside much 'good' advice of others and learn to be true to themselves. You can help them have courage in this area.

The A to Z of Great Parenting

R is RainMaker

The Rainmaker makes it happen. When all else fails, people come to the Rainmaker for help and support.

Encourage your child to be a Rainmaker; someone who makes it happen, has a 'can do' approach, who supports people, who is seen as a leader. Why? It's fun and they will always be in demand and well paid.