Nicholas Bate

What is their problem? Immigration at Heathrow.

Why are they so unfriendly? I doubt very much there is any research to suggest that pure unfriendliness helps discover those with false documentation......

If they were interested, three tips to make returning to London via Hathrow a more positive experience:

1. Introduce Disney queues. Banks have done it. Shops have done it. It's fair. Do it!
2. Be friendly. You'll discover more fraudsters as it lowers defences. And for those of us who are innocent, it's much nicer!
3. Have staff ready as the plane lands, not when the queue is already filling the hall.

Much customer service is (1) easy (2) about doing things slightly more intelligently. It often doesn't require more money thrown at it.

What is their problem?

It's not just me. There are plenty of travellers who by the time they get to their hotel room after long journeys, demanding meetings and travel delays, just want to 'put the kettle on'. And make themself 'a nice cup of tea'. Whether it's traditional breakfast, Earl Grey, Chai or Peppermint. It's reassuring, easy and relaxing. What they don't want is the surpring hassle, delay and expense of room service simply for a hot drink. I've talked separately and will continue to so do about the New Differentiators (catch up on that category). One of those is abundance. Simply be generous. The return will be there . So why no kettle in so many 'up-market' hotel chains? Simple meanness! To encourage us to order hot drinks. The trouble is we do it less and less. With a decent Starbucks on every corner, you can get a better quality drink at a much lower price. And not have someone hovering for a tip.

Come on, hotels. Be abundant.

What is their problem? TESCO

It seems as Tesco gets bigger, we have to get bigger. I mean we have to get a bigger trolley and buy more stuff. And of course sometimes for the family/weekly/party shop that is great. But what about when you just want a few things, just an ordinary basketful? It can be hard-work. Standing in that queue recently and chatting to other shoppers we agreed things were getting harder for the 1-basket shopper. And yet the reason many of us choose to minimise our shopping is we want to be in and out of the store quickly.

And that's a point which has been lost, Tesco. You are making it easier and easier to buy more and more and spend more and more time with you. But one or two of us like you but don't want to spend too much of our time with you. And please don't say 'on-line'. We know that's brilliant at times, but it too has its challenges for small, variable amounts.

Come on Tesco: allow some of us to fast-track. A lot of people fast-tracking is still plenty of money. What about if you had a corner shop within those warehouse stores which stocked the 20/80 favourites. Now there is an idea.

What about your business? I know you are premium, I know you are quality, I know you are thoughtful. But can you be DAMN QUICK and RESPONSIVE when the client wants it? Something to think about.

What is Their Problem? AIRPORTS

How are your flights at the moment? Grim? Great? Could the airports be doing a little more to help us? I think so; we do accept they are under pressure with the continued demands of extra security, but still. What about:
Clearer indications on all web-sites of what can and cannot be taken on-board. There are still inconsistencies even between the same airline staff in the same queue (last week at Heathrow T3).
Clearer indications of what cafes/restaurants are available after you have been through security (the differences across Europe, for example, are huge). It's frustrating to check in early (as we are encouraged to do) and find the better restaurants were BEFORE security.
More friendliness. And don't say it can't be done. Going through Hong Kong is efficient and friendly, so is Singapore. Much of the States is hard work; Heathrow increasingly so. It's not a sign of weakness to be friendly.
Electricity. There's some money to be made for someone who allows the re-charging of phones and lap-tops. I think we'd all happily pay: we simply need a socket! Instead we perch at odd angles against pillars trying to boost our phone....ridiculous.

How about your business? It's simpler than an airport or airline. What could be clearer, easier and more helpful for your clients? Brainstorm at the next team meeting and ensure it goes into your kaizen project. You do have one don't you?

What is their Problem? MOBILE PHONE COMPANIES

When you know that a particular phone keeps crashing. When you go into your local O2 shop and the assistant tells you that there are problems, why, oh why when you ring the call centre do you have to go through all the pre-defined menus and be told (effectively) you are wrong?

This is not the way to handle the customer. And when you ask to speak to your technician's manager, why is he 'not available, but will 'ring you' back'. But does not. What is their problem? Never deny a problem. Own it, apologise and do something about it. And O2 you are certainly big enough to be able to do that. You ought to be brave enough, too.

Are your clients getting the responsiveness they need? Would you know if something were wrong? And how quickly could it be handled?

What is their problem? Hotels

If you manage a hotel or work in one, here are four easy ways to make your visitors even happier:
1. When you deliver a newspaper to a bedroom early in the morning, place it silently outside the door. Do not wander along the corridor throwing them heavily against the doors. Hotels: brief the early team!
2. If you are going to deliver break-fast to a room, do not say 'tick a box' but then ask the client to allow 15 minutes either side. Breakfast in your room is meant to be (a small) luxury or for efficiency. Not knowing what time it will arrive does not allow either of these. Hotels: sort out your internal logistics!
3. Get clear signs on the stairs. You'll find more of your customers will want to take the stairs to build in some 'easy' CV to their day. Make it clear where the stairs are and which floor they are on as they ascend. Hotels: make it clear!
4. On check-in, announce that you will ring in 30 minutes to check all is OK in the room. Your client then has a chance to say : don't do that, I'm going to have a bath/phone my Mum/go to bed and clear some jet-lag. Ringing unasked is an often irritating experience. Hotels: think client!

And if you don't manage a hotel, you do manage a business or a bit of a business: what could you do immediately to make life easier for your client?

Howard Schultz of Starbucks said: everything matters.

What is their problem? Starbucks

I am a fan of Starbucks. Brilliant experiential marketing i.e. taking a commodity (coffee) beyond a product, beyond a service to an experience. A place where you can do some writing, have a business meeting, take the kids before the cinema and the product/service combination will be reliably very good/excellent.

So what’s the problem with the ‘short’ drink? In the old days there were three sizes of Starbucks coffee beverage: short/tall/grande. A marketing breakthrough was to get us consumers to ‘overnight’ consume more by creating a new range: tall/grande/venti. An obvious and instant way to create greater margin and profitability of course. In deference to the purists it has apparently always been agreed that the ‘short’ will continue to be available. But behind the counter and off the price board. (If you look carefully the short paper cups are usually there on a rear counter). Why not publicise this size? If we can cope with endless sizes of Mars bars we can with four drink sizes. Short drinks are often more convenient, are more attractive to many women, are handier ‘on the go’ and importantly often have the perfect ratio of milk/espresso. I don’t think it will damage sales. In fact in this world of healthier eating, it’s probably the perfect time for Starbucks to ‘launch’ this drink on the world.

Interestingly, in Starbucks in Le Marais, Paris recently I noticed the short size on open sale: the French simply would not put up with those vast bucket-size containers. More of us are going to be ‘down-sizing’ our consumption, especially when you know the real number of calories in these drinks.

Go on, if you fancy a short size, ask for one. And Starbucks, come on! You are missing an easy opportunity to boost our loyalty.

What is their problem? Little Chef

Come on, you have stopped at a Little Chef. Probably a few times. One time you called the fry-up was great: eggs perfect, served promptly and pretty good value. And you were waited upon. So you could read the newspaper, collect your thoughts...That 'being waited upon' should be a real selling advantage for Little Chef: great for families who tend to lose the little ones around all the islands of food at the motorway services, great for business people who want a quiet table and someone to get all the stuff.
But. It's so inconsistent. When it's great it's brilliant. But too much of the time the service is just too slow. Such as half-term holidays, lunch-time (did they learn that from the great high street banks?), supper time. Come on Little Chef. Wake up! Sell the fact you have at-table service, forget the silly coffee top-ups (we'd rather have decent coffee) and work out a way of having enough people to serve at busy times. Otherwise, you have lost our custom.