Nicholas Bate

Zero to Seven

0: chance the speaking clock will be 'in the right place' when you ring.
1: clear decision is needed this Saturday. Take it. No TAKE IT! Now: don't you feel better?
2: eyes for amazing depth of perception. Read this cool book.
3: wise men. For a very good reason. One gets biased/polarised. Two gossip. Four or more's a crowd. Three's perfect.
4: valency of Carbon, essential to Life.
5: amazing starfish.
6: throw the dice parenting. 1=to the museum; 2=bake bread; 3=football in the park; 4=gardening; 5=Lego; 6=camping in the garden.
7: days a week. Live them long, wide and deep.

You Were There: The Invention of Plastic c 1862

You know that blob which formed in the test-tube, Henry? It's entirely malleable and easy to mould. Incredibly light. Should be pretty cheap to make, too. And early tests suggest it doesn't dissolve, nor degrade in sun. It can't be burnt nor pulverised. It'll be around for ever! Our legacy! Pure genius.

You Were There: the Invention of Coca Cola, Atlanta, 1886

Now remember this is just a quick scam: in and out. So anything will do: lots of water. Sugar. Some old vegetable matter. Bit of cocaine. Mix it all up. If we can get away with this we'll have people believing in a red-suited Father Christmas.

You Were There: Invention of the Sandwich, 18th century

Sir, we and the kitchens have done our very best to accommodate to your request: thin slices of meat placed between thin slices of bread. The chef says he's concerned it's neither attractive nor particularly tasty; he could find no place to put the gravy.
Anyhow, hope you play well, Sir.

You Were There: Guarding Hadrian's Wall, many years ago

Hadrian's Wall. A chilly January morning as the sun comes up.
'So, remind me Marcus. We bring the Brits wine, central heating, straight roads, a cool alphabet, strategic thinking, pannini and gorgeous girls. And we get?'

You Were There: Beatles at Candlestick Park, USA, Aug 29 1966

As the final chord of Long Tall Sally was played,
John to George: that's it then, never again.

You Were There: Blitz over London 1940s

Screee....eeee......eeee....tch. Boom. Crash. Ker....boom. Screee....eeee......eeee....tch. Boom. Crash. Ker....boom. Another cup of tea, love? Screee....eeee......eeee....tch. Boom. Crash. Ker....boom.

You were there: Wednesday, the Number 19 bus

Her: smile
You: smile
Her: smile
You: damn, you had to get off at your stop.

You Were There: first recipient of the first e-mail

"This is fun"

You Were There: Invention of Airplane by Wright Brothers (January 1903)

"You know, future generations are just going to be able to stroll up to a more sophisticated version of this plane. Jump on and it will give them the most magical of experiences. They will feel liberated, be able to go anywhere in the world they like with ease, at the drop of a hat. They will be able to wine and dine-maybe even dance-as they cross the oceans. Man is at last one with the birds."